Visits!

Yay! It's finally the time when my brother & sister are coming to visit! John arrives tonight ( in about 5 hours), Beth arrives before dawn tomorrow. I imagine I'll be slightly less enthusiastic at her actual arrival, glad though I'll be to see her. AND tomorrow I'm off, going to Universal. AND I'm leaving early today. Yaaay all around!

Assuming I do leave early, as planned (I'm bad at that), I'm going to bake a cake this afternoon. And do a load of laundry. And run the dishwasher. And do a small bit more of tidying and taking out trash, but otherwise, I'm ready! Except for buying raisins. I need to buy raisins ...

We had a cool front come through yesterday, which means it'll be well under 90 the entire time they're here, which is a big break for them. 60 degrees to 90+ is rather abrupt ... as Floridians may recall from this past Feb. Too much too soon, etc. Anyway, I'm hopeful the weather will be ideal for our purposes.

Following their visit, it'll be time to officially start the divesting of excess worldly goods. Ideally this would be via a yard sale, but more likely it'll be via Craig's list. And in 2 weeks I go to visit John. And a month after that it's off to Greece, then give notice and then it's alllll over. Crazy. Also in there, right in my last week here, John will (at least in theory) be back down here with his girlfriend doing Disney. I expect I'll see them, though I will, by then, be homeless.

Oh! And the weekend after I go see John it's Memorial Day! So I get 3 3-day weekends this month! Sweet!

I was realizing that it'll be 90 more days of employment on Mother's Day. That feels like it should be meaningful or ironic or something, but I've so far failed to figure out why, so perhaps it just ... is.

I continue to obsess over the plane ticket, despite having decided I'm not buying until after my current credit card bill closes, so the end of May at the earliest.

Currently, I can fly for $704, but will arrive late enough to need a hotel room AND will spent nearly 20 hours in transit. Alternately I can spend $1140, spend 12 hours in transit and arrive in time to go to where ever it is I'll be living and move in. It is making me crazy, actually. Hopefully a less time-consuming and better arrival-time option will open up in the $700 range sometime in the next 3 weeks.

The visits, though, absolutely are starting to feel a bit rushed & crammed in, as I approach the end of my time here. Which is true! They probably wouldn't be coming, or at least not now if I weren't leaving, and didn't complain about no visits for 2 & 3 years.

Argh

To sign a lease for Germany I have to have a residency permit. To get my residency permit for Germany I have to have medical & liability insurance. To get medical & liability insurance for Germany I have to have a German bank account. To have a German bank account ... I have to be patient. Grr.

I spent some time, this morning, going through the various offerings from the recommended insurance company. Do I want to be insured worldwide, or just in the EU? Do I want coverage for accident-related vision aids? What about accident insurance? Do I plan ahead for perhaps becoming a work-seeker after graduation? What about medically necessary rehabilitation measures as a subsequent medical treatment prescribed by a physician? Some of these are mutually exclusive. And then, do I want to pay an additional Euro 17 per month for luggage insurance?

Man. It's complicated to plan for not having a job.

In related news, we're moving ahead at work and have posted one of ultimately two positions that will take on my work as I transition out and then depart. This is, frankly, huge progress, since 48 hours ago we didn't have agreement that anyone would be hired. 

94 days of work, 96 presumed days till departure, still no ticket. 

Anxiety is attacking

I'm feeling a bit freaked out, today, on a variety of fronts. It's because I'm overtired, which is, in turn, because I'm an idiot and stayed up super late reading. (I highly recommend the entire Hunger Games series, btw. I've now read all three books, 2 of them yesterday).


Still.


I can't stop thinking that next year is going to be hard. I'm going to be far away, and I won't know anyone, and my entire support network, flimsy though it will be, will be 6 to 9 hours off from me. And, as I learned traveling last year, 6 hours is the worst possible time zone difference. When I'm at home and tired and overwhelmed and needing support, everyone will be at work. And when they're at home I'll be asleep (fingers crossed, anyway!). And when I'm getting up for the day .... they'll be asleep. Yes, yes, emails will work, but I'm rather addicted to and dependent on supportive, instantaneous texts. And even phone calls won't really work, except on the occasional weekend. 


Also, for next year: so far I'm the only one from the US who's signed up with my class's FB page. Intellectually I know very well the rest are coming, but it's sort of freaking me out. Cultural centrism aside, I can't really imagine a true year long study abroad without any fellow Americans. Super scary.


I think this is really hitting me today (aside from the tired-ness) because, paying rent today, I noticed I have just 2 checks left in the pad ... and that's all I'm going to use before I leave. And next time I pay, I'll need to give my 60 day notice. Freeeeeeaky.


Also, my brother & sister are coming this next weekend. I was supposed to get ready for the visit over the past couple days - shopping, cleaning, etc. I totally didn't. Hell, Sunday I only got out of bed to snack and to use the bathroom. And I don't see where I'll find the time to get it done between now & Thursday. So I'm panicking a little on that front, too.


And I keep looking at my savings so far and thinking they're not going to be where I want / need them to be, by the time I leave. That's probably not true but ... scary. 


And I still don't know where I'll be living!! That, honestly, is starting to really, truly bother me. And it's completely out of my control.


I'm starting to do the things I do when I'm overwhelmed: I start shutting down, sleeping a lot and shirking any and all responsibilities. Basically: when I start to feel buried I stop shoveling. Not good, and a really, really bad habit. On that score, I guess it's actually good they're coming this weekend as I'll be forced to get my shit together.


Right?